I just dont get it…

I just dont get it sometimes. How you can have parents, who only care about going out. Hey… you wanna go out, i dont care. Not my business, but when you come over and ask me to join you for a night out, and my mother or mother in law can’t babysit… they dont understand why i dont want to leave her with “their friend”. Why would I do that? A beer is NOT that important to me that I need to leave my kid with just anyone.  I dont care what It is I want to do.. if My kid is not safe, with someone I trust… nothing is worth that. Not just anyone babysits my kids. and I have never and will never leave them with just anyone just so i can go out, have a few drinks and shake my ass on the dance floor. I can stay home, have juice and cookies with my kids, dance around my living room, have tons of fun and I know my kids are safe.

I know sometimes, everyone needs a break. but every weekend? no matter who you have take your kids? Thats not cool. thats not good!

My kids are more important to me than alcohol. I would much rather have fun with my kids.

that is just me though.

I do enjoy going out. i do enjoy a break and having a good time. But i have kids. My priorities are my kids first, then my fun and recreation second.

I have a husband, and kids. the bar and night club scene isnt my favorite thing to do anymore. I have become boring and a home body.. and I am okay with that. Wanna know why? Because my kids are going to grow up KNOWING they were more important than a night of drinking. they were/are and alway s will be the most important and most fun thing I could can and will ever have to do!

Friends… the good the bad and the uglier

I myself has always preferred to be alone. I dont mean a hermit, but on the weekends growing up, after school, rather than hitting the hottest parties, most of the time I liked to stay home. I have always had fun relaxing in front of the tv watching movies all weekend.

Dont get me wrong, I hung out with friends, I dated, I was active and have a healthy social life, but most of the time I PREFERRED to be left alone. That carried on into adulthood. I was never “neighborly” I didnt go out of my way to become friends with neighbors. It was better not too. If I didnt get to friendly with anyone, I didnt get dragged into their drama, family problems and I didnt have them in mine. My life was quiet and uneventful, the way I liked it. I liked being able to stay home and relax without 30 ppl knocking on my door day and night. 

Brad was the same way. We were content to be left alone. Dont get my wrong again we had friends, we hung out after work and on our days offs, but we kept it lightly social. We learned there was too much drama. Most of our friends were couples or married, and we always had to deal with the wives being bitches or the husbands being losers drinking and cheating and it was just too much for us. We always had our “couple friend” that we did couple things with. Cause mostly… all our friends that were couples… we could only stand one or the other. I am not a “bitchy” wife. He is not “controlling” and most of the couples we knew… they were exactly that. Constant fighting, ruining any outing we ever went to, and I cant stand that. If you go out, hold the fighting till after we have fun. Dont ruin it for me!!!

Since having kids though we have learned to open up a little more. Our daughter is VERY social. We have had to get use to neighbor kids in the house, making friends with the parents obviously cause I cant have my kids hanging out at houses of complete strangers. And its just as I always feared, Now I have the wives knocking on my door telling me their marriage problems, financial problems, their drama. And Im sure to them I look and seem so terrible cause I discuss Nothing in return. Its my life, my business, I chose NOT to share that with anyone.

I have always been strong willed. I dont need to share my troubles with everyone. A select few get to see my vulnerable side and its not many. Only a few ppl out there have ever been close enough to know “the real me”. I am a private person. 

I like to get out and dance, have a few drinks with friends, but that is not all my life is. I only do that stuff once In a while. I am a mother, wife, housekeeper, maid, cook, ect. When I get a night to myself the last thing I want to do is be surrounded by drunk men and girls dressed and acting as sluts. Give me my remote, a pillow, turn the ringer off and leave me alone!! I am 30 years old, I like to have my quite down time to myself. I have a family, I dont need to be out on the town. My place is at home and that is where I like it.

Maybe I have an old soul. Maybe I like it that way. Im an awesome interesting person and Im awesome to hang out with so me and myself are cool and content! But lately.. I have noticed slowly I started closing off friends. Why? Because lets see.. Life. Everyone goes in their own direction and changes. We get together when we can and we enjoy each others company, but then I have friends who shall remain nameless who have turned into… The Bitches of the Century. Or the Whores of the Universe. Or the Users, the selfish, the Slime.

Call me only when you want to brag about something you got, something you did, never to just say hi. You know when the phone rings and you look down at the caller ID, you know its not just because they want to talk to you . Or they only call you when they want to complain, bitch, moan, and get “female Support” when they need backup cause thier man did something terrible. That is not a friend… that is an AA sponsor! I dont need that crap! I have my own problems. I dont call them to gloat, cause they never take your call anyways. Cause they only want to talk to you when they are the ones in the lime light. For Instance, I called a friend to tell them I was doing a photo shoot for a band and I thought since her and her boyfriend have 6 kids and she is the only one working that she would like the extra money, So I offered her a modeling job. No nudity, just pose with the band for their Album cover. She wanted to be little Miss Diva and decided she wanted to make all kinds of demands, she wanted to run the show and just be… AUGH!!! I dont need friends like that. I was trying to help HER OUT. I have tons of other more qualified friends, but I chose to ask her to help her out. Kick me in the face and see if I EVER reach out to help you again. Later she called me to complain she didnt have money for school clothes for her 6 kids. Hmmm I bet that $500 looks good now, even though she “shunned” at $500 and said “that aint shit to me, I want more” Ibet it was looking pretty damn good after all huh? And no, I gave it to one of my part time friends instead who appreciated it.

Over the last few years I have made friends that I enjoy. We only talk on occasion, they are the same way as me and the keep their drama to themselves. They actually talk and take an interest in my life as I do theirs. We dont party together we dont really “hang out” we have a mutual understanding about “friendship” and that is.. we are friends and cool but other than that leave me alone! lol They know what goes on in my life, I know what goes on in theirs, and that is where it ends.  “hows the kids” “how are things with so and so” “oh wow she took her first steps! thats great” and My returns are “yeah Brooklyn is great” ” yeah Josh made the football team again” We converse back and forth, it is a two way friendship, no fake pleasentries, and That is the way I like it. Part time friends!